Investing in psychotherapy involves time, money, and a desire to make changes with the help of a qualified clinician.
“But can’t I get better on my own?”
One of the top topics in my psychotherapy practice is WORK.
Looking at the Top 5 Reasons for Happy Employees and the Top 5 Reasons for Leaving a Job, it is no surprise to me as a relationship therapist, people want help with their workplace!
Top 5 Reasons for Happy Employees Top 5 Reasons for Leaving a Job
1. Relationship with co-workers
2. Contribution of work to organization’s business goals
3. Meaningfulness of the job
4. Opportunities to use skills/abilities
5. Relationship with immediate supervisor
1. Minimal wage growth
2. Lack of opportunity to advance
3. Excessive overtime hours
4. A work environment that does not encourage teamwork
5. A boss that doesn’t allow you to work flexibly
What do you see that these have in common?
All of these fall into categories of Meaning, Purpose, and Relationships.
Interestingly, each of these categories also contributes greatly to a person’s level of life satisfaction.
Think over how you feel about different periods of your life. You are most fulfilled when there is meaning in the things you do, when you know you have a purpose, and when you are an active participant in rewarding relationships. So. no surprise that these things make or break your work life!
Which of these have you been most fulfilled by?
Which have most bothered you about your current position?
May 18, 2018
Therapy made my life do-able.
This is what I hear consistently from my own clients and from friends. My own life has been made so much more fulfilling and comfortable than I imagined it could be- thanks to the therapists I’ve seen over the years. So it comes as no surprise when I hear it from others. Though I’m continually delighted to hear it!
I can’t be loud enough about how meaningful and relevant AND NOT JUST FOR PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE psychotherapy is.
The demand that we get rid of the stigma against meeting with a therapist is tremendous. That’s why I was thrilled to learn that the editor and creative director of Print magazine, Debbie Millman also proclaims that
“the best investment I’ve ever made was in psychotherapy.”
In Tim Ferriss’ Tribe of Mentors, Debbie says therapy “changed and then saved my life in every imaginable way.”
She offers some suggestions to consider, when embarking on psychotherapy:
Therapy takes time. It takes dedication, stamina, resilience, persistence, and courage. It’s not a quick fix, but it saved my life.
Tell your therapist everything. If you edit who you are or pretend to be something you are not, or project who or how you want to be seen, it will take that much longer. Just be yourself. If you are afraid your therapist will judge you, tell them. All of these things are important to talk about.
There is no shame in feeling shame. Almost everyone does, and therapy will help you understand it. There is nothing like understanding your motivations and insecurities to help you integrate those feelings into your psyche in the most healthy and authentic way.
Yes, it will be expensive. But what is more valuable than better understanding who you are, breaking intrinsic bad habits, getting over much of your shit (or at least understanding why you do it in the first place), and generally living a happier, more contented, more peaceful life?
If you’ve experienced the changes available from psychotherapy with the right clinician for you, what tips do you have for others who are either on the fence about getting started, or who already embarking on that journey?
*Did you know you can do things BEFORE you get to your therapist’s couch, that might make getting started with him or her more efficient?
May 12, 2018
So you feel like you need a getaway.
What is it you want most from a vacation?
Seeing new things?
Whatever it is that drives you to yearn for a vacation is a clue into what will allow you to function better day-to-day.
I have a client, let’s call her Lana, who talks about begging her husband to go on a road trip ASAP. As we explore what she is so eager for in a road trip, she describes how glorious sunshine and being in nature would feel.
It is no irony that Lana started a new office job earlier this year where she has no window near her desk, she does not leave work for lunch, and she starts her workday before the sun rises.
Lana has come up with some things she can try immediately using this cue that she needs more connection to the outdoors- not just for a weekend, but regularly. She will step outside for just a moment each time she takes a bathroom break. She says that though she doesn’t have time to leave work for lunch, there is a place outside where she can take her food. She’d like to try doing that a few times each week.
Hopefully, she and her husband will soon be on the road to Enchanted Rock, Port Aransas, or Big Bend. In the meantime, she can get the Vitamin D, fresh air, and a few moments to clear her mind and refocus that we all need as living creatures.
Studies have shown that taking breaks improves productivity. More is accomplished when we take breaks in our workday than if we had pushed through without stopping.
If we can take notice of what we crave most in a getaway, when we are craving a getaway, we can take better care of ourselves in everyday life. So that the getaway serves as icing on the cake instead of a way of keeping your head above water.
Other simple examples of applying your vaca craving to daily life:
Wish you were on a trip so you could justify doing nothing?
What help can you recruit in order to DO NOTHING in the comfort of your own town?
Family? Friends? A local hire? You can figure out how to get some of your tasks off of your plate without leaving town.
Wish you could leave town so you could break out of your norm and see and do something new?
There is no way you have seen all there is to see in Austin. I am a huge proponent of getting out of the bubble of one’s hometown. And when that isn’t immediately possible, find a new shop, park, museum, performance venue, or restaurant right here in the 787 to check out.
Maybe even, venture north/south of the river!
Since day-to-day life happens more often than vacations, we might as well figure out how to use them wisely.